Benjamin asked me what we should do on our three years which is next Saturday and because I’ve been so heavily indulged in my university work (which by the way, I finish my first semester tomorrow, yay) I totally forgot to plan.. I told him he should be the one planning and he’s afraid I won’t like his plans, but I have a good feeling he’ll do my feelings justice (: 

Three years is a big benchmark and it’s quite amazing when I look back to see how long I’ve been going out with this boy. I’m going to save all the cheesiness when our three years come but just to let you know what to look out for (epic cheesiness soon).

P.S My first ever haul post will be up by the end of this week. Tell me what products you wanna see me talk about first. Hair? Makeup? 

Lots of love,

V.

I’m officially nineteen and a day old. It’s really amazing when you think about it. I’ve been breathing and living for 19 years! I mean, is that not a blessing or what? 

Everyone takes birthdays for granted. Yeah, it comes once a year, but do we all know how precious life really is? How amazing it is that we’ve been brought to this world? It’s such a joy to be alive! It’s such a joy to be able to celebrate the day you have been born, the day where it represents you living. I feel corny but.. I know how my Mom feels when it’s my birthday. She said sincerely “You’re so old now.. it’s been 19 years, and it just felt like yesterday.” 

To be truthfully honest, I recently found out something about my parent/s which made me kind of hit rock bottom. I always knew my Mom disliked kids and I had a sense that I wasn’t something my parents both agreed to try and have. But when your parents tell you that they weren’t expecting you, that they weren’t actually trying to have a baby, there’s a part of you that actually hurts. There’s so much more to it but it is the internet after all..

But the point is, birthdays are sacred. It marks the beginning of your life. When you die, the most important dates are your birthday and the day you died. It’s just..a blessing. I guess it’s because I don’t have a father figure no more which is why I’m being so emotional about this, but it’s sort of upsetting that your own father would forget your birthday. It’s upsetting to see him used to send parcels to you days before your birthday, then it goes to letters, then phone calls, then emails, and eventually leading to nothing. It’s like, on the one day where I have the right to want to feel loved, I don’t get it from one of the most important people. But, I would like to give a big thank you to everyone who did remember, and to my darling boyfriend. He was being the sweetest to me, extra sweet because it was my birthday, and he’d randomly wash the dishes, offer to cook, the little things you know? Waking up to him whispering ‘Happy Birthday’ to my ears was enough. I didn’t do much for my birthday cause I had a bit on my mind, but I’m thankful for the people I have.

People sometimes feel that I’m making too big of a deal out of this parents-being-divorced thing. I agree, the divorce rates are increasing, and there are so many, so so so many people out there living in a single-parent family (some possibly worse than mine). But a lot of people don’t understand how it feels. To grow up knowing you’d never have a mother/father figure kinda sucks. Mothers and fathers play different roles, and there are just some things that only Dads can say. But I don’t have that. You may not feel like you have something ‘that’ special but I’m telling you, I’m definitely missing a lot without one of them.

So I also want to say, happy Mother’s day to my dearest Mother, for she made it possible for me not to break down when I see my friends and their Dad. I know she tries so hard to play both roles, and although she mightn’t ever accomplish both entirely well, I praise God for her undying strength and as long as I’ve got her love, I’ll learn to be strong enough to handle not getting my Dad’s. 

Thank you Mom, for both choosing to bring me out to this world, and for continually loving me through all my mistakes.

Yesterday was my 34 months with Benjamin. I’ve heard from a lot of people that they get sick of my monthly statuses and so I kept it nice and short this month, but.. clearly people are still lovin’ it.

To be honest, I like celebrating every month (even if it’s just acknowledging it) and I like to tell people how long I’ve been going out with Benjamin to show people love still exists. I want people to know that Benjamin and I are serious about this, and if it takes a reminder every month then so be it. I want people to know that there are still guys out there that are nice, that don’t need more than one girl at the same time; that the same girl for the rest of his life is just what he needs. I love Benjamin with all my heart and I say that in all seriousness. I don’t know about the future, but if I were to be able to choose, I’d choose Benjamin to be the man I love for the rest of my life too. 

When people say “You guys better get married” or “Omg, just get married already”… I too, admittedly, sometimes wish Benjamin would pop the question seeing as we’ve been together for nearly three years. But, Benjamin, being the more sensible one in this case, reminds me how young we are and how much more special and better it would be if we waited. Sometimes we both wished we met each other only recently so by the time we’ve been going out for three years, we’d be like 22-23, but now I still have to wait another good solid 3-4 years for him to even consider :( The waiting is painful, but then I tell myself it ain’t that bad when we’re acting as if we’re practically married anyway. He said we’re the “real life Marshall and Lily” and I think we will be just like that.

This is a cheesy post, but I really don’t care what people think when it comes to me telling Benjamin how much I love him, because we need that. We need to feel loved and I want Benjamin to see how much love I am willing to give him. Despite people thinking I’m annoying for being cheesy all the time or whatever, I know deep down they’re jealous because all of us just wants that one person who loves us and whom we love; that one person who just gets us, and understands us. Yesterday on the radio, the guy was saying how “it’s in our (men) nature that we can’t be in only one relationship at one time” and I was like thinking, oh god, but then I see how much Benjamin loves me and how truly lucky I am. I love proving people wrong, we are just this good babe! 

Oh! We took a bunch of silly photos for you to fall in love with us too. We’re cute, we know.

Till the 35th, 

Love you plenty and always.

So I stayed over at Benjamins’ last night and meh, not much to report. We were just cute watching heaps of movies and splurging on food at like inhuman hours. This morning though, we were being cheesy and I told him to write something on my back and he wrote something and I kept guessing and he wrote slower and slower and I was like “..e….t..s.. Ets…. k.. Ets K? Waaaah” and he’s like “No! There’s this *does some stroke* in front of the e!” And kept doing the stroke and it got sooo ticklish hah, and I was like “Oh! L!” Lets..k hey…..” And I nudged him with my elbow and he was just laughing and I turned around and he had his lips ready to be kissed. Gosh, why did I fall in love with such an idiot?

In all seriousness though, I do love him very much so. You guys all know that! A dear dear friend of mine is going through a relationship filled with so many faults. It’s really hurtful to see someone get treated the way she is and it’s sad because as much as she wants to let go, her love for him still stands. I ask, “Why do you love him” and she’ll just say “I don’t know, I just do.. there’s something about him.” I hate those answers and those type of guys. I don’t want to love a guy because I just do, because “there’s just something about him”. I want to love a guy because of the way he speaks, the way he eats. I want to love a guy because of the way he puts on his shirt and takes it off in front of me. I want to love a guy because of the way he laughs when I tell I joke, or the way he treats me like a queen. I want to love a guy because the way he treats my friends, our relationships and my family. I want to love a guy because I love him for what he does for me, I love who he is with me, and how sad he is without me (I love you Benjamin). She and her boyfriend are on the verge of breaking up and it’s times like these where I feel so lucky to have a boyfriend that treats me the way that’s right, and loves me always. I feel so lucky to have Benjamin tolerate me, care for me and just listen and talk to me. It was our 33 months just two days ago and it struck me how long that actually is. It’s so hard to find such a strong relationship and what I love about most is that whenever people see us, they still think we’re in that “honeymoon” period because we’re just that much in love with each other. I feel so lucky, because love is the greatest thing in the world and I’ve achieved it with such an amazing human being. Great love is out there girls/guys, it’s just a matter patience. Don’t worry though, it’ll all be worth it. 

On another note, I did something spontaneous today (besides working on my assessment due in three days) and I permed/waved my hair. I realised because I’m Asian and my hair is long and straight, it’s…flat-ish. I wanted more volume, but didn’t wanna go nuts so I tried to “wave” my hair. Now this is virtually impossible if you’re “perming” but somehow I did something right…ish.

And the best side of me:

Take it easyyyyyyyy boys.

Well I mentioned it a couple of posts ago saying that March 12th (today) is a special day. Well today! is..me and Benjamin’s 1000th day together. It’s mainly a Korean thing to celebrate days like 100, 500, 1000 and ever since our first 100th, we missed everything in between so we’ve both been looking forward to this day! And it’s finally here. :)

It is a very special day…and I guess I set my expectations a bit too high. Who knew such a thing would happen for us not to be able to celebrate and truthfully, it kinda sucks. I know I can’t be selfish in this situation because you’re going through such a hard time, but I… There’s nothing to do about it. I can’t help thinking 1000 days is such an achievement, especially with relationships at our age. I still remember when we first got together, and people around us were thinking we wouldn’t last that long. Frankly, for ages I kept thinking you’d break up with me soon, but you didn’t..and neither did I. 1000 days..that’s 1440000 minutes that we’ve spent loving each other. Heck, if we were older, people would be getting engaged or married already. We’ve nearly hit the three year mark and my love for you still grows by each passing day. We’ve passed the honeymoon stage, and we’re definitely at the ‘Comfortable’ stage but I know we won’t take this for granted because it’s like we’re one of those older couples and once in a while we go on a ‘date’ and it feels all good and giggly because we barely do that anymore. “As we mature, the relationship matures with us” and I guess that is sort of true. We’re both nearly 20 now, and our priorities have changed, and we’ll try hard to become the couple we started with but no matter how hard we try, it just won’t be the same anymore. We’ll keep trying though, and I guess that’s what matters. We’ll continue to keep that spark within our relationship because we both know how easy it is for it to burn out. 

I thank you for being here for these 1000 days, whether we were laughing, crying, shouting or annoyed, there’s no other for me like you and I seriously can’t imagine life without you, no matter how angry I sound sometimes! I love you so very much. So much.

Happy 1000 Baby.

Oh, how I hate this day. It seems like people in our society today thinks its only fair to be sweet and buy your girl some flowers on a day where everybody else is too. Yeah, I get that love is in the air and all, but shouldn’t that be always? Valentines should act as a reminder on how much we love someone and not as an initiative to show it. I don’t want a rose on Valentines, I want a daisy. Or a lavender. Or a lily? Why would I want something that every other girl has? I want something special, and not something that you bought down the street for $15. A rose for $15?! You craaaay. Might as well buy me a nice bowl of Pho.

I get that some people use Valentines Day to tell someone they love them and I guess it is sweet but..no. I just dislike how much the media has made Feb 14th to be. It’s like everybody’s trying to compete on who gets the biggest bear or the most flowers, chocolates, balloons and it’s as if if you don’t get any, you’re unloved. No! That’s not true. Friends, it saddens me to see people sad on Valentines Day. Girls, you don’t need a man to be happy just like guys don’t need girls to feel confident. Sometimes I feel like Valentines Day should be a relief for single people as they don’t need to go through the stress on choosing the right present, or the right flowers. You don’t need to pretend to like the present or pretend to be aroused when really all you want to do is read a nice book. Or pig out.

The point is, for everyone who’s single on Feb 14th should feel just as lucky because one day they’re going to fall into the trap of this horrifying date and wished there was no such thing. I want to receive flowers on any other day than Valentines. This is my third Valentines with my boyfriend and we agreed to no flowers and no fancy dinner because we (more like I) don’t want to be surrounded by couples that spend all their money and cheesiness on this one day, because that’s not how a relationship should be. I love Benjamin very much, and just because its Valentines Day, it doesn’t mean I love him more today than any other day, but just shows how much I love him by not giving materialistic things and treating it like any other day because my love for him won’t grow less any other day and won’t change just because of a date.

So for you single people out there, Valentines Day is just a day. Feb 14th is just a day. For all we know, some single people might be buying flowers even though they have no-one to give it to, or no-one gave it to, and if you haven’t done that, you’re already much better than them.

Happy Ordinary Feb 14th.